Catherine the Great

Recent Entries from Nicole Daedone's blog:

The Privilege Paradox

In college I was faced with what I perceived to be a dilemma. I was something of a golden child. I had a certain gift that made me a favorite with professors, so much so that I was the first paid graduate teaching associate in my department. I was on the fast track for the position I wanted and a strong candidate for a fairly elite Phd program. The professor with the most “pull” was incredibly learned in his field. Everyone wanted to work with him and I was one of three “chosen ones.” I basked in the glories of recognition. I garnered all of the benefits. There was this one itty bitty issue. He was something of a racist and a homophobe. And I was in love with, living with, being deeply and wildly emotionally supported by a woman of mixed race. I can say with confidence that she...

Posted on 18 April 2014 | 2:34 pm

I got information

“If you love me fuck me like you hate me” Anonymous Because I’ve lived a greater portion of my life off the rails, I use Facebook as a barometer of normalcy as in, “Oh yes, this is how normal people see the world.” Like an archeologist discovering a great treasure, I am delighted to uncover this little gem from a Facebook friend: I’ve encountered my share of “off” OKC messages. But this… is the best yet! His profile opens: “I use to deal drugs but it finally got boring.” (There are pictures of him with expensive cars). His invite to me: Dinner at French Laundry or Sierra Mar. His treat. He’ll pick me up. Yeah… like I’m going to get in a car with a *stranger* and go all the way to NAPA or BIG SUR. I don’t think so!! I don’t care if it is the finest of fine...

Posted on 24 March 2014 | 11:08 am

As Above, So (Very Different) Below: On the Masculine and Feminine

Recently I was reading an article about male-female dynamics that said the number one complaint women have about men is that all guys want is sex. The number two complaint is that he doesn’t even know what he’s doing once he gets there. The man’s number one complaint, for his part, was that women make everything so difficult. I loved this. Not because I am a fan of the war of the sexes (if there is such a thing) but becauseit points toward something so much bigger. If we pull back the lens, these very day-to-day complaints start looking like clues in the mysterious game that I like to call “Masculine/Feminine.” Part of me cringes to use those terms. They have been co-opted by a whole lot of people who use them a whole lot differently than I do. So let me be clear. Masculine/Feminine is not a synonym for...

Posted on 2 February 2014 | 3:05 am


We’re both not sure how to explain, Mike and me, why I love him. I couldn’t tell him that when I think of him I think of his chest in that blue Tshirt. I’ve never had a chest like that before. So many small ass chests, caved in chests, armored chests. And yeah maybe sometimes it’s puffed up like a rooster but at the end of the day from Harlem to LA, alone in that very alone way, pillow beneath my head, it’s that chest. And yeah, maybe I’m too much. Even with his Ducati and his tools, his ju jitsu and that charm. His bulldog. He’s from Indiana. And were I to tell him the things, the unspeakables, we still both don’t know if he’d stay. I’m that kind of girl. Not the sweet one in the shorts that can afford to wear them that short because the innocence...

Posted on 27 January 2014 | 10:21 pm